The Quiet Assassin. Says nothing, paints beautifully, wins in December.
Bryan McClellan is the league's resident artist — a legitimately talented painter — and his teams have the same energy: quiet, composed, then suddenly hanging on the wall. He won it all in 2018, led the league in scoring twice, and went 12–2 in 2023 before dropping the final. He does not trash talk. He does not need to. His only known weakness is Roemer, who has beaten him nine times in eleven, presumably by talking the whole time.
Known for
- 2018 champion, 2023 runner-up
- Points-title winner in 2018 and 2023
- Speaks rarely; the scoreboard does it for him
- The one owner whose art appreciates faster than his keepers
By the numbers
- FBG Champion — 2018
- Runner-up — 2023
- Regular-season points title — 2018, 2023
- Best season — 2023: 12-2, 2,326.6 pts (2nd in reg. season)
- Worst season — 2016: 2-11, 1,501.0 pts (11th)
- Career high — 210.9 pts, 2018 wk 6 vs Pom Pom Sunday (182.3)
- Career low — 81.4 pts, 2016 wk 5 vs LuDaChRiS (149.1)
Head-to-head
All meetings vs. current owners (both managing their current franchise).
| Opponent | Record | Pct | Postseason | PF | PA | Avg margin | Streak | Best win | Worst loss |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Brett Walker | 3-1 | 0.750 | 0-0 | 584.8 | 501.8 | +20.7 | W1 | +42.4 (2023) | -4.0 (2024) |
| Todd Bailey | 7-4 | 0.636 | 2-1 | 1,577.9 | 1,493.2 | +7.7 | L2 | +51.3 (2025) | -64.0 (2025) |
| Greg Bearden | 8-5 | 0.615 | 2-0 | 1,980.2 | 1,788.7 | +14.7 | W1 | +67.4 (2020) | -41.7 (2024) |
| Jon Boski | 10-7 | 0.588 | 3-0 | 2,677.4 | 2,632.0 | +2.7 | L1 | +82.2 (2022) | -81.4 (2021) |
| Jared Smith | 9-7 | 0.562 | 2-1 | 2,432.1 | 2,135.3 | +18.5 | W1 | +76.7 (2021) | -32.7 (2024) |
| Seth Pepkin | 8-7 | 0.533 | 1-2 | 2,057.3 | 2,120.6 | -4.2 | W1 | +52.0 (2025) | -58.4 (2020) |
| Nick Oberhaus | 1-1 | 0.500 | 0-0 | 286.2 | 327.4 | -20.6 | L1 | +4.5 (2024) | -45.7 (2025) |
| Christopher Palmer | 8-9 | 0.471 | 2-0 | 2,502.3 | 2,463.6 | +2.3 | W1 | +117.7 (2023) | -67.7 (2016) |
| Scott Smith | 5-6 | 0.455 | 1-0 | 1,516.6 | 1,672.0 | -14.1 | W1 | +34.4 (2018) | -99.1 (2020) |
| Matt Roemer | 2-9 | 0.182 | 0-2 | 1,642.7 | 1,782.8 | -12.7 | W1 | +65.9 (2018) | -44.0 (2024) |
| Shawn Bosler | 0-1 | 0.000 | 0-0 | 130.1 | 135.3 | -5.2 | L1 | — | -5.2 (2025) |
Season by season
Franchise lineage before Bryan: manager not recorded (2010–2011), Gary Williams (2012–2015). Their records are not counted above.
Record book appearances
- #2 Highest score in a loss: 193.5 pts (2023 wk 5 vs 14-$0)
Team names through the years
Saco Del Toro (2025), Saco Del Toro (2024), Saco Del Toro (2023), Saco Del Toro (2022), King Quon (2021), Kupp My Balls (2020), Mahomies be rolling with the Gurleys (2019), Mahomies be rolling with the Gurleys (2018), Dak to the Future (2017), Dak to the Future (2016)